Restaurant Sensory Archetypes
THE SAFE DIVE DINER
ENVIRONMENT
Warm lighting.
Slightly sticky menus.
Booths with emotional history.
Coffee available at all hours.
SURVIVABILITY
Extremely high.
SPECIAL BUFF
Feels like existing inside a Bruce Springsteen song in a psychologically beneficial way.
COMMON MENU ITEMS
- pancakes
- grilled cheese
- soup
- fries
- breakfast forever
KNOWN RISKS
Occasional loud truck guy named Randy.
THE MINIMALIST BRUNCH THREAT
ENVIRONMENT
White walls.
Concrete floors.
One tiny fern.
Menu written in lowercase.
SURVIVABILITY
Variable.
KNOWN DANGERS
- nowhere to hide visually
- acoustics of a public swimming pool
- emotionally tiny portions
- chairs designed by conceptual artists instead of people with spines
SPECIAL DEBUFF
Makes you suddenly aware of your posture and financial status simultaneously.
THE FAMILY MEXICAN RESTAURANT OF RESTORATION
ENVIRONMENT
Warm colors.
Large booths.
Predictable menu categories.
Chips immediately.
SURVIVABILITY
Excellent.
SPECIAL BUFF
Free chips reduce existential despair by approximately 35%.
KNOWN BENEFITS
- menu readability
- customizable foods
- emotional abundance
- spiritually healing rice
THE ARTISAN COFFEE SHOP FORMED ENTIRELY FROM ANXIETY
ENVIRONMENT
Plants.
Industrial lighting.
People writing screenplays.
SURVIVABILITY
Depends entirely on crowd density.
KNOWN DANGERS
- nowhere comfortable to sit
- jazz
- witnessing somebody confidently network in public
- accidentally overhearing startup conversations
SPECIAL BUFF
Temporary increase to creative stat.
THE LOUD SPORTS BAR ABYSS
ENVIRONMENT
Thirty televisions.
Sticky floor.
Aggressive acoustics.
Somebody yelling “WOOOOO.”
SURVIVABILITY
Catastrophic for many autistic people.
KNOWN STATUS EFFECTS
- auditory fragmentation
- involuntary dissociation
- inability to process language
- desire to become vapor
